So I look up the Sears location on the internet, check the map and head out. I don’t do GPS. GPS is for weanies who can’t read maps. I can read maps. And I can tell direction by the sun’s position on a sunny day, and today is a sunny day. Besides, I don’t own a GPS. I don’t even own a “smart phone.” My wife and kids do, but I don’t. I just have a phone. But it wouldn’t have mattered today anyway. As I discovered much later, I left my phone on the night stand by my bed. It’s at least smart enough to be my alarm clock too, though I’m not always smart enough to get up when it goes off.
So, as I said, I head out – north and west, because Sears is north and west of our house. I know where I’m going. Head north to the dead end, head west to where the street picks back up on the other side of the freeway, go 1-2 miles and I’m there. So I thought. But today, apparently, my not smart phone is smarter than me. Because, I go north to the dead end; then I head west. But I can’t find the street I’m supposed to turn north on – it’s not where I thought it was. So I take another street that goes north thinking I can find another street that will take me where I want to go. But the street curves and takes me into unfamiliar territory, and territory I didn’t check on the map.
One turn leads to another, and another, and another, and finally I find that I’m WAY west of where I wanted to be. So I find a street that I know and head east toward Sears. It takes me longer than I think it should, but I finally get there. Sears has everything I needed and, wait! It’s on clearance! Half off! Big smiles! Yay Sears!
So I get what I need, leave Sears and head for the church, which is north and slightly east of Sears, so I head east … but I’m suddenly at streets that I thought were east of the street that I needed to go north on. So Sears was where I thought it was, but maybe where I thought it was wasn’t where I thought it was supposed to be and I’m east of where I intended and should have headed west instead of east. So I take a northbound street and turn left on a westbound street so I can find the street that I now think is west of where I am. But I shortly come to a street that I know to be west of the street that I need to be on, so I turn right onto another northbound street and then right onto another eastbound street so that I finally get to the right northbound street that I wanted to begin with and am able to get to the church. So the little side trip to Sears that should have been three miles long became a ten mile drive.
It’s a good thing today is a good day for a drive. Maybe it’s time for me to get GPS.